Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Meditation #1

A few years ago I picked up a book called "The Best Guide to Meditation" written by Victor N. Davich.  It is a really interesting book on how to meditate.  The point of the book is to work through it step by step learning along the way to make meditation apart of your daily life.

I have tried a couple of times over the course of the last couple of years to make it a part of a daily practice but it has never really worked out for me.  So this time around I'm going to try something different.  I'm going to attempt (Do or Do not, there is no try) to blog about my progress and my experiences on a regular basis.

The first mediation in the book was about recalling a time in your life when you were living in the moment. A time when you weren't worried about what had happened in the past or what was going to be happening in the future.  All in all I didn't have a lot of moments like this that came to mind,  I am often a person whose head is thinking about tomorrow or is reliving a moment from his past thinking about how he could have handled a situation differently and playing out what ifs in my head.

Here are a quick run down of the 3 moments that came clearly to mind, there were other moments but I couldn't hold on to any of them long enough to get a feel for what they were.  Also the exercise wasn't about holding on to the memories it was about letting them flow in and out of your mind.

  • My granddaughters first steps, I was laying on the floor playing with her and helping her walk around when she took a few steps on her own.  In fact she was holding my phone at the time and it was recording video.  It is a file I will always treasure.
  • Driving in the car with tamile while we were on our little house road trip.  It wasn't clear to me where we were driving or anything along those
  • I was swimming I think at West Hawk Lake the time I went there with my eldest daughter and tamile.   
Over all I came out of the exercise feeling pretty good about it and about myself.  We will see how it goes this time around.

Monday, 7 September 2015

The good, the bad, the ugly and a question

It has been an eventful weekend to say the least.  I'm truly glad it turned out the way it did as it is the last weekend before I return to work.  With the Doctors ok I'll be back on tomorrow Tuesday.  On one hand over all I'm not thrilled to be going back.  I'm enjoying the time at home working with tamile, getting stuff done around the house, and even doing some writing.  That being said I also know it is important that I get back in to the regular routine of working a daily job.

So lets start with the good of this post.  This Friday after running errands and a meeting we spent the evening babysitting two of the grandkids.  It was the two grandkids that we don't see as often so it was a lot of fun.  The four of us played, cuddled and watched a bit of TV.  tamile took care of putting the older one to bed and I took care of putting the baby to bed.   It was only willpower that kept me awake through the process.  We were going to offer to keep them over night but they came by early to pick the kids up.

The weekend continued to be good Saturday afternoon was spent at a local game store running a demo of a new game called Nefarious.  It was a pretty good game and I will likely write a review of it in the next few days.  That evening was when the real fun began.  tamile and I hosted our first party since June.

In the past we have regularly hosted kink focused parties.  Basically once a month we invite over friends to hang out, chat, have a few drinks, share our kinks with each other, and even demonstrate a few kinky things to the room.  We tried a couple of things differently this time around.  We invited less people so those who did attend had more space.  It made for a way more intimate evening. Everyone who came out played in some way or another, which I am pretty sure is a first.  tamile and I started off the evening with a great flogging scene, it had been to long since we did that..  Our Brandon family followed up with their own impact play scene.  A few people did some electro play,  I got to have a small electro play scene with a regular attendee and then followed it up with an electro play and impact play with a first timer to our parties.  A very cute (Currently red headed) woman the scene was really good and fun to play with.    All in all it was a great night.  One of the more enjoyable parts was a sitting four people across our three person couch.  I had tamile pressed into me on one side and the red head on the other.  It was a rough place to be sitting for sure with both of them cuddling up into me.  Somewhere between 3 and 4 in the morning the last of the guests left.

Sunday continued to be good our home based gaming group met and started a new adventure for the first time since last April.  It was a pretty good session all.  There wasn't a lot of things happening in it, but everyone had fun and we got the adventure started.

Now for the bad is that the weekend is nearly over.

Last but not least the ugly.  I normally wear a kilt to kink events.  tamile makes a wonderful cargo kilt that are awesome to wear and comfortable as hell.  I have two wonderful kilts that she made and to be honest they are far from ugly.  What is ugly is they they don't fit anymore.  I can't say that this is a bad thing but at the same time I can't call it a good thing either.  Which is what makes it ugly?  I want to be happy and excited by them not fitting but it also means I am without a cargo kilt for a while.

Finally the question; I have been only posting this blog for a while now and I was reminded today that I have a couple of other blogs.  Ones that are specifically focused on gaming and the other one focused on Kink.  Should I go back to posting about those other topics specifically to those other blogs and try and generate more content or should I just keep posting everything to this one?

Thursday, 3 September 2015

Doctor's Follow Up

So today was my follow up with the doctor who did my by-pass.  I find it amusing that all of the doctors I have met and dealt with through the whole process have been skinny.  The same is true of everyone that works at the Victoria clinic as well. No way to know if this was an intentional decision or if it was just random but it certainly does stand out.  Even the hot resident doctor with the sexy accent who did the initial question was skinny.  Anyways it was just an observation that I wanted to share. 

So the appointment was pretty good.  The doctor gave me a clean bill of health and I've got the ok to go back to work.  He asked how everything was going if I was exercising and so on.  My only short fall has been that I've been forgetting to take my last vitamins of the night.  So they made a point of reminding me about that and how important it is.  At the end of the appointment I was told I would be put on the regular follow up schedule.  So now I have a follow up in 6 months and then again at the end of the year.  After that if all is still go then I will be going to yearly follow up appointments.

I think the real important and enjoyable part of the appointment was sitting in the waiting room.  In total there were 5 of us that were actively talking. 3 of us had our surgeries within a day of each other and had met in the hospital.  1 woman who was scheduled to have her surgery in 10 days and the last person had the surgery a year ago last March.  All of us readily shared our experiences with each other and everyone was happy and open about sharing.  We had all taken slightly different paths; for example some of us have been open about our surgery others have and are keeping it secret.

One of the funny things about the discussion was that the woman who had had her surgery over a year ago also had a cast on. Based on that and her physical appearance all the rest of didn't think she had a bypass until she came out and said so.  I can't imagine being at a point that when someone looks at me they wouldn't know I was once fat.

Monday, 31 August 2015

5 week update

August has been a hell of a month.  My body has pretty much got used to the effects of the surgery.   I've only found a couple of things so far I can't eat.  The big one so far is French Toast, it is a bit of a blow as I've always been a rather large fan of French Toast.  If that is the worst of it I'm sure I will live.  I've had a lot of ups and downs along the way.  Some days are still better then others and I'm sure that will continue.

At this point the biggest thing I need to focus on is taking my time while eating and making sure I get in plenty of activity.  We have picked up a Y membership, but haven't been able to make it down yet.  Our first scheduled gym time is tomorrow morning.  tamile has plans to go do aquafit with one of the ladies from our TOPS group.  I'm planning to hit the track and run week 1 session 1 of Couch to 5K Zombies Run.  Surprisingly enough I'm super excited about being able to start the Sessions.  It feels weird to say but it is true.

The loss of weight isn't the only changes that have been happening around the household.  We have redecorated what is now the guest room.  It still feels a little weird to call it that.  tamile and I have also worked through a lot of different things and have reaffirmed our power exchange.  It has been really good and things are working well for us.  I've also been encouraged to start writing again. 

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

3 weeks less a day post surgery

Well it will be 3 weeks since surgery as of tomorrow.  All in all I'm hugely happy with the results.I'm working my way back towards more solid food.  It seems like everyone is really different when it comes to how they get back to eating.  I was speaking last night with the person who had surgery the same day that I did and she was still on soft food.  The sad and difficult part is that just because you can eat something one day there is no guarantee that you will be able to eat it the next.

Just yesterday I had intense stomach pains after eating some pork chop.  I had eaten the exact same thing only the night before for supper.  For the most part I'm doing pretty good with solid food.  I chew the hell out of it to be certain. I think the biggest part of it is portion control.  This is something I'm still having a hard time on this one.  While I was working on this entry I stopped to make myself some lunch.  The plan was simple I was going to have a cheese quesadilla,  I initially planned on A quesadilla shell folded in half.  When I pulled out the shell it looked small so I pulled out a second one.  As I was making it the thing looked small enough.  Then I ate it slowly and chewed a lot but by the time I finished I knew I had eaten to much.  I'm starting to think that about half of what I consider a good sized portion, might be the way to go.  I guess this might be why they say 4-6 weeks off to learn these things.

Anyways here is a little hard data about the weight loss.

  • June 15 - 404.7lbs
  • June 22 - 397lbs
  • June 29 - 400.5lbs
    • July 2nd Boost Diet Started
  • July 6 - 391.7lbs
  • July 13 - 385.6lbs
  • July 20 - 378lbs
    • July 22 - Surgery Date
  • July 27 - 370.3lbs
  • Aug 4 - 358.4lbs
  • Aug 10 - 354.2lbs
Total weight lost from June 15 to Aug 10th 50.5lbs